Money
It is advisable that Au Pairs brings some money with them, preferably in Euros or Sterling Pounds, to tide them over at first (e.g. enrolment fees to the language school), although they could ask to the Host Family for an advance for the enrolment. It is very important that they carry a credit card in case an emergency should arise. If they bring traveler’s cheques with them, they must ensure that the serial numbers are kept in a different place from the cheques, just in case they were stolen.
Opening a bank account in a foreign country could be difficult. To avoid this, it is advisable that Au Pairs take with them a recommendation letter from their bank stating that they are their client and a reliable person. This letter should be translated into the host country language.
Packing
As the day of departure comes closer, Au Pairs will need to sort out their wardrobe and select clothes that will be compatible with the climate of the host country. They could always ask their Host Family about the weather and so they will be sure about what kind of clothes they will need. It has to be taken into consideration for how long they are going to stay in the host country.
It is advisable that although they like to wear jeans, shorts and T-shirts, Au Pairs try to look neat and presentable at all times.
They should try not to overload themselves since by the end of their stay they will have accumulated a pile of things. Anyhow, they always can ask their family at home sending the things they might need.
Au Pairs might also want to pack a few small items of sentimental value, which will help make their new room more familiar and homely. A good dictionary and a phrase book are good allies. They should bring with them a plug adapter.
It is a good idea to bring a small gift to the children but need not be expensive.
Breaking the ice
Do not think that the task of breaking the ice is only the Host Family’s responsibility. They might feel even more uncomfortable than the Au Pair. For breaking the ice, the Au Pair should focus her attention on the children and try to talk a little with the parents, for example, asking about the children, the city, etc.
Despite the Au Pair will be very tired when she arrives, is advisable to spend a little time with the family so that both begin getting to know each other. The family will show her the house and they will want her to eat with them the first day. The Au Pair should always show her desire to help (e.g. offering to help to clear the dishes) although she wants to go to bed.
Also is a good idea to unpack the cases as soon as possible since to wake up in an unknown room and with the cases done can make you feel a little bit sad.
The first day
The initial settling-in period is very important for both the Host Family and the Au Pair. If the Host Family welcome you and treat you as part of it, you will feel at home and comfortable on arrival.
During one or two days the Host Family should be entirely at your disposition to show you the house, to explain what they want you to do, answer all questions you might have, show you the children’s school, the language school, etc.
In order to create a happy environment and avoid misunderstandings for everyone, the Host Family should be straightforward about the house rules and give you clear instructions about what to do. It is in the best interest of both parties to establish the guidelines and expectations at an early stage of the relationship.
Your main objective on the first day will be to know how the Family’s routine is and what they expect from you.
Here is a list of tasks to which you might give priority in the first few days:
· Make sure your new family knows the name, address and telephone number of your
family at home, relatives or friends you might have living in the host country.
· Make a list of all emergency telephone numbers and keep it handy
· Locate the first-aid box, fuse-box, etc.
· Learn how to operate household appliances.
· Ask for a set of keys of the house. Find out where spare ones are kept, in case you
find yourself locked out.
· Take note of any house rules.
· Establish when the family will pay you.
· Sort out which are your chores. You might find useful to draw up some sort of list for
house duties so you can organize them and fit them in each week.
· Ask when your first day off will be, so you can plan accordingly, and have something
to look forward to.
The children
In the beginning, the children might have difficulty in adjusting themselves to the Au Pair and she will have to work hard to gain their trust and cooperation.
The first few weeks are very important, since the relationship the Au Pair will have with the children could set the duration of her stay with the Host Family, hence be sure to have a good start. The best thing the Au Pair can do is to be flexible and to adapt to the house and children’s routine. To continue the daily patterns they are used to will help the children to feel more secure, so the Au Pair must try not to impress her personality at first.
Because children are generally difficult, the Au Pair should try to avoid confrontations. She can pretend that depends on them making them feel important by saying that she needs their help, asking them to show her where things are or that they should guide her to their school because she fears getting lost.
They used to be nervous of new Au Pair and create a fuss every time she goes near them and this is probably because they feel insecure in front of a person who they do not know well yet, therefore, she should to be tolerant and do not force the situation. She should try that they play by doing anything that attract their attention and, if they become interested, they will probably want to play with their Au Pair and become her friends. Be patient because this mutual adaptation will also depend of the children personality.
Rules within the Host Family
· Never open the house front door unless you recognize who is there, or have been
told to do so by the family.
· Check with your Host Family about answering the telephone or if they prefer the
answer phone to take messages when they are out.
· Check the rules with regard to using the telephone and the Internet
· Establish what food can be taken freely or if there is special food (e.g. for one person
only or for a dinner party/children friends) kept.
· Always write down messages or visitor’s names and leave them where the family
can see them
· Always write down on the shopping list any items that are running out before they
are finished.
· Never take the last item of food (e.g. last of the milk, last slice of bread, last
banana/apple, etc.) before checking, as it may be needed that night for the children.
· Respect the family’s privacy, as they may not have had much time alone together
during the day, however, you must not forget that it is your home too.
· Always leave the house tidy and your room in particular. Make your bed before
leaving for the day.
· Never shout at or smack to the children, but check with your Host Family if you
should reprimand bad behavior or language or if you should report it to the parents.
· Check and establish the rules with regard to sleeping out, having friends to visit you
or stay at home and about coming home late.
· Always check with the Family, if in doubt, how to iron and how to wash any garment.
· Above all, do not be afraid of talking about any problem as most complaints can be
sorted out and many misunderstanding can be cleared up just with a simple chat.
Useful hints